


Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls

by oddsnends



Category: The Last Kingdom (TV)
Genre: Drinking, Implied Sexual Content, Partying, Possible drugs, Public Nudity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-07
Updated: 2019-10-07
Packaged: 2020-11-27 02:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20940653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oddsnends/pseuds/oddsnends





	Paint Me Like One of Your French Girls

How Uhtred had ended up at a rave in the middle of nowhere had been somewhat of a mystery, even to Uhtred. He’d been out for drinks with Sihtric and the last thing he actively remembered was a woman.

Of course it had been a woman.

It was always a woman.

He’d bought her a drink and they had began to chat. She introduced herself as Skade, a few years his junior, but spellbinding never the less. Her eyes held an allure of mystery and her golden hair like silk, when it slipped through his fingers.

Somewhere in their conversation she had cast her spell and led Uhtred to the deserted warehouse outside of town. Uhtred was no stranger to adventure, boasting that he would try anything once.

The music was loud, bodies everywhere, men and women half dressed. Some over dressed, Uhtred was too drunk to care about the concerning amount of animal ears and tails that were being worn by those around him.

Skade had disappeared, promising to be back. Uhtred gazed in amazement at the lights, feeling the music, and losing his inhibitions. After Skade had left him, things began to get fuzzy.

He could almost remember the music, the crowd, the sweaty half dressed bodies rubbing against him, and even the alcohol. What he couldn’t remember is how he’d gotten home or when he had left.

Sitting on the front step, he ran his hand through his hair, picking pieces of confetti from his long brown locks. His clothing had long since vanished, gods only knew where. The neon green hot pants he was wearing were certainly not his. Though they did well to match the neon green and orange body paint that covered his torso…and below.

Keys, phone, and shoes were gone. Somehow he’d managed to keep his wallet.

“Fuck.” He groaned, rolling his shoulders and glancing back at the locked front door. Uhtred had pounded on the door for several minutes to no avail.

What were his neighbours thinking? Seeing him sitting on the step looking like this.

Shivering he hung his head. Sihtric had warned him.

“She’s poison, if I were you, I’d stay away.” He had warned when Uhtred said he was leaving with Skade.

“What a witch.” Uhtred snuffled, rubbing his hands on his face.

Obviously his housemates were out or in bed, yet he gathered himself off the step and knocked again. No luck.

It felt like hours before Uhtred saw anybody. Laying back on the step, hand over his eyes to shield them from the morning sun, he sat straight when someone cleared their throat.

“Why are you covered in neon body paint?” Beocca, his brother in law, gave him a chastised glance.

“Best not to ask.” Uhtred shrugged.

“A woman?”

“Can you call Finan?”

“He’s not here. Which is why I am.” Beocca pulled out a spare key. Unlocking the door, he stared down at Uhtred sitting on the step. “The neighbours called him about some…intruder. He couldn’t reach you.”

“Thank you.” Uhtred stood and passed Beocca. In the house safe from prying eyes of the neighbours.

“Oh don’t thank me, yet.” Beocca snickered. “While you were laying on the deck, I took the liberty of sending Thyra a photo.”

Uhtred snarled, his lips curling, and his eyes flashing. “I will kill you.”

“We’ve been through this, if you don’t want me shaming you, don’t think with your cock.” Beocca giggled like a little girl. “Now best wash that off before it sets any longer, and you my want to use some oil to rub it with first. Otherwise it makes too much of a mess.”

Staring in disbelief, Uhtred blinked hard. “And what do you know about body paint?”

“Best not to ask.” Beocca shook his head, waving to his brother in law, closing the door behind him.


End file.
